Am I naive?

Families are pre-programmed to have your best interests at heart. But when these good intentions clash with your own desires, arguments are bound to erupt. I don’t mean to convey myself as a grumpy teenager, but I often feel my ambition to become a writer is misunderstood by my family. They only see the bumps along the path, but I’m focused solely on the view from the top.

In my mind, being a writer is the sole option. I yearn to become a successful children’s fiction author. Writing is the only activity that fevers my brain and feeds my heart. I’ve pictured myself achieving this dream many a time, a comforting notion on nights when sleep is hard to capture. I am working towards my goal, enrolling on a specific University course to further aide my dreams. I am funding this myself through my work at Cath Kidston, because it’s what I want to do, therefore I’m the one who pays for it. Even when I’m tired and down, the thought of The Dream pushes me forward.

But is this fanciful thinking? I sit in classrooms full of people who mirror my ambition. Even some of the tutors don’t complete their own goals. The realm of storytelling is cut throat, it’s not an easy industry to break into. But it does happen, stories do get published. Authors do attend book signings and book festivals. It’s not just a dream, hard work can bring it into reality. But still the nagging voice asks such difficult questions – have I got it in me to fight for my work? Will my stories stand out in a pile?

I have no answers to these questions yet, and I try to avoid doubt where possible. But I am instilling a practice that we all learn as children.

Try.

You have to try new sports and new foodstuffs to find what you like. You have to try all sorts of new things to gather experience and knowledge. You have to try to secure good grades. You have to try in order to accomplish anything, it all involves effort. You have to give it a damn good go before you turn your back on something that could potentially unlock great happiness. Some people might walk away from the ladder, claiming that it is too high. I want to make it up a couple of rungs, at least.

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This is my first step on the ladder. A note to say my short story competition entry has been accepted. I won’t win, but having a complete stranger read something I wrote is a true thrill. Fingers crossed.

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4 thoughts on “Am I naive?

  1. If we have dreams and only continue to dream them, they remain dreams. If we have dreams and actively seek to help them come true we work towards having or living our dream.

    I dreamt once of a life in the country, we planned, we searched, we saved and we persevered when all around us were negative, we worked so hard our dream came true and we are working even harder at the moment to continue our dream – forever.

    Dare to dream, I did.

  2. We all should try to make our dreams come true. Sometimes (as in our case) it did not happen quite the way we expected or had planned, but this often makes it even better. We have had a complete change of lifestyle in the last year or so, and plan to continue changing things until we are either fed up or are forced to settle! You go after your dreams – even if it does not work out as planned you will have learned (and hopefully enjoyed) such a lot along the journey.

  3. Dreams often change depending on how our day went, what influences are in your life at the moment, or the place and time that we are at. If you find that despite all these things, you keep returning to the same dream, then this is truly your hearts desire. Go for it. What is the worst that can happen if you dont become a published writer. Did you enjoy writing it? Were the words your food and did they feed your hunger to be a writer. Then even a failure is a win win.

  4. No, you’re not naive! If this is your absolute dream and the thing that makes you the most happy out of everything you do, then you have to go for it! I did an MA in Creative Writing for Children and although I enjoyed it I’m not passionate enough about writing to try and make a go of it. But if it’s what you love to do, then I do believe it’s possible. Those who love you should respect your decision. I’m sure that when it comes down to it, they are immensely proud of your talents 🙂 Good luck!

    And who says you won’t win…!

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