The fact that this is my first blog post for this entire week is an appalling statistic. There wasn’t much to report on the domestic front, and even less in the storytelling sphere. Apologies.
I’ve also been preoccupied with a visit from my mother. Despite our clashing past, I actually get on quite well with my mum, now that we live apart. I was brilliant to prepare a feast at lunch time for her, help carry shopping bags as we wandered around town and talk over wine and pizza at ASK in the evening. It was wonderful that she was able to stay overnight too. I waved her off cheerfully on Saturday morning, but our discussion topics have sown seeds in my mind. My mother scattered the acorns, but they are hastily erupting into enormous questions.
What do I want to do with my life?
I know I want to write children’s books. But does that mean I live in a shack, living off nothing and writing the days away? Or do I strive to get a high-paying publishing job, working my fingers to the bone until I get my big break? At this moment, I have no idea what option I would prefer. It seems too easy to divide life choices in this way. Penniless – but happy. Rich, yet miserable. Can I find the elusive in between point?
Chase your dreams, follow them, reach, climb. All of the associated phrases involved some kind of activity. Maybe staying put is not the best option for the career I have in mind, but I am desperate to put down some roots. It’s getting closer to the time where I have to weigh up all of the individual consequences, but they are all so heavy. Right now, it’s so easy to ignore the responsibility that will attack before I can build up defences.
But ultimately, my decisions affect my life. It’s me that will eventually decide what kind of life I want to lead and how best to go about achieving it. Thinking in that sense is quite empowering. I am in the enviable position of still being able to be anything I want to be. I am a firm believer of hard work reaping rewards. I do believe it’s time to get some work done. Then my future will feel more like a challenging rope ladder, rather than a pressing noose.